OK, I know there’s a practical template for the poet vs. editor poem, or the poet-writing-in-the -form of a rejection letter poem. It can be a bit tiresome. This could be it’s own sub-genre, or could certainly warrant an anthology. However, every once in a while I come across one of these vindictive little revenge poems that more than settles the score. “I Long to Hold the Editor’s Penis in My Hand” by Francesca Bell is such a poem.  In fact, I think this poem could almost serve as a nail in the coffin for this theme. I may just print this one and keep it handy.

Note: Make sure you read that title correctly. I first read it as “…the Editor’s Pens…” and the poem is far less satisfying when read that way. This piece is in the terrific current issue of Rattle, which is one of my favorite journals on the market.


and tell him personally,
I’m sorry, but I’m going
to have to pass on this.
Though your piece
held my attention through
the first few screenings,
I don’t feel it is a good fit
for me at this time.
Please know it received
my careful consideration.
I thank you for allowing
me to have a look,
and I wish you
the very best of luck
placing it elsewhere.

Read more about poet Francesca Bell here, where you can also read more of her poems.